Free printable group guide

Fighting Fair: A 4-Week Guide for Couples Groups and Marriage Classes

For couples' small groups, marriage classes or two couples who trust each other. Each session has a shared discussion and a part couples do privately as a pair. Nobody has to share details of their own arguments with the group. Between sessions, couples can use UnFight, a private app for pausing during an argument and finding clearer words; its calming tools are always free. This guide is for everyday disagreements; if anyone feels unsafe at home, please reach out to a professional or a local support line.

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Each meeting

10 min	Opener as a group.
20 min	Group discussion: general, not personal details.
20 min	Couples break off in pairs for the private questions.
10 min	Back together: one thing you'll try this week.

Week 1

The pause

Read aloud: Proverbs 15:1; James 1:19

Opener

What did arguments look like in the home you grew up in?

Discussion

Group: Why is the first 30 seconds of a hard conversation so important?
Group: What are early signs that a conversation is about to go badly?
Pair: What helps you calm down: space, movement, breathing, something else?
Pair: Agree on a simple word or signal either of you can use to ask for a pause.

This week: Use your pause signal at least once, even for a small disagreement.

Notes

Week 2

Breaks that come back

Read aloud: Ephesians 4:26–27

Opener

Are you someone who needs to talk it out now, or step away first?

Discussion

Group: What's the difference between taking a break and walking out?
Group: Why does saying when you'll come back matter so much?
Pair: How long a break usually works for each of you: 5, 20, 30 minutes?
Pair: Write one sentence you'll use to ask for a break, in your own words.

This week: If a break happens this week, come back when you said you would.

Notes

Week 3

Clearer words

Read aloud: Ephesians 4:29; Colossians 4:6

Opener

What's a phrase that instantly makes you defensive?

Discussion

Group: Compare “You never…” with “I felt… when…”. What changes?
Group: Why is it easier to say what's wrong than what we need?
Pair: Each finish this sentence: “What I usually need in a disagreement is…”
Pair: Rewrite one sentence you've said in a recent argument, more clearly.

This week: Before your next hard conversation, write the main sentence down first.

Notes

Week 4

Repair

Read aloud: Colossians 3:12–14; Romans 12:18

Opener

What does a good apology sound like to you?

Discussion

Group: What makes an apology feel real rather than a way to end the conversation?
Group: How do couples come back to an unresolved topic without restarting the fight?
Pair: What's one small thing your partner does that helps repair after conflict?
Pair: What will you keep doing from these four weeks?

This week: Thank your partner for one specific thing they did during these four weeks.

Notes

UnFight: Couples & Marriage

Keep the rhythm going between meetings. Free to start on iPhone.

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Questions leaders ask

Do I need any experience to lead this?

No. Each week has an opener, a reading, questions and one challenge. Read them aloud and keep time; that's the whole job.

Can I print and copy this?

Yes. It's free to print, copy and share with your group. Use your browser's Print button for a clean, page-per-week layout.

Which Bible translation should we use?

Any. The guide gives references only, so everyone can read from the Bible they already have.